Skip to main content
A Magazine for Sheffield
Morley's Fun Page

True Fun Will Only Be Possible After The Revolution

Any appeal to the legal constitution created by this archaic class of Victorian gargamels to hoist them out of power is the naive galaxy brain-thinking of remain-or-die centrist Twitter dads.

686 1569576847

One Weird Trick

The current set of nightmare Beano offcuts whose tendrils control the levers of this sinking island are the interchangeable faceless representation of primeval class inequality.

Any appeal to the legal constitution created by this archaic class of Victorian gargamels to hoist them out of power is the naive galaxy brain-thinking of remain-or-die centrist Twitter dads. It's the movie logic of whispering a paradox to an enemy robot so it explodes. Sadly, these adversaries are flesh to the core. They are flesh all the way through, mono-substance flesh beasts. Boneless, bloodless. You cut them and they bleed flesh. F l e s h.

I'm writing this shortly after the prorogation and the celebratory gotcha as the highest courts in Scotland rule the move unlawful. Except they don't rule the whole thing unlawful - subverting the ability of the country's elected representatives to navigate the many necessary decisions that would naturally unfold a month before the Brexit deadline - just the means by which the prorogation was carried out. The only thing that has been found illegal was the only thing that I personally don't have a problem with: lying to the Queen. You can lie to the Queen all you want as far as I'm concerned. If there ever was an objective reality, there is no way the Queen has access to it and I'd fight to keep her getting anywhere near it. Reality belongs to the people.

At this point the courts have stayed neutral, saying that the government's behaviour is "inherently political" and therefore may not be appropriate to be reviewed by the courts. But even if they do step in, it'll be to the defence of the monarch, the constitutional head of state. Defending one supreme power against another, it was silent during other gross excesses, like the 120,000 deaths linked to austerity.

The law is traditionally used to subjugate the disempowered. Every now and again someone grows too middle class to remember that and angrily taps a sign, a spreadsheet, a piece of legislation or a recording of a contradictory statement made on Andrew Marr and expects those in power to look embarrassed in deference to the principles of truth and justice. From war crimes to openly admitting class A drug use in a leadership bid, we do not prosecute the ruling class. The law is only imposed downwards.

Time was when a monthly deadline was enough to write about some topic and have it relevant by the time of publication. That's not been the case recently so I realise I could be writing something utterly irrelevant to the totalitarian waterworld into which it is distributed.

October and beyond will see the current social-political churning enter a frantic spin cycle and it's going to be tiring and overwhelming, but we can't fall for the idea that there's one weird constitutional trick that'll turn the system of vested power against itself. That system is not for you - it is not for us.

Our only concessions are ones we take for ourselves. Also, please remember to have fun and stay hydrated.

Next from Mandatory Redistribution Party

Animal Hanging

There are records of animals being put on trial and punished by public execution, usually hanging, dating back to the 13th through to 16th century for crimes ranging from theft to murder to bestiality.

More Mandatory Redistribution Party

Next article in issue 139

More News & Views

More News & Views