It’s official. It’s now over six months since Christmas. Six months since you were unwrapping gifts, stuffing your face with all sorts and arguing with your family. “But how can this be?” I hear you cry. “It feels like yesterday,” you murmur. Life can be a cruel mistress sometimes. Life can be a real slap in the face. You can be plodding along listening to your favourite country and western track, enjoying the delights of the local park and then BLAM – you’re 85 years old and you haven’t achieved anything and that isn’t country and western you’re listening to, it’s the sound of your existence slipping away into obscurity. The motto of this month’s listings column – no more dilly dallying on your life ambitions and as a cautionary, secondary motto – don’t mess with time travel.

ALTERNATIVE COMEDY CABARET.
4th JULY / RIVERSIDE / £3.
An event so colourful it’s claiming to make the gay pride flag look like a beige towel. There’s plenty more where that came from – it’s The Alternative Comedy Cabaret everybody! Link

OFF THE RECORD.
5th JULY / PLUG / £6.
After a successful launch event pre-Xmas, Renegade Brass Band’s new bi-annual night returns to Plug for a summer session. This time they bring the London based rapper and frequent Dub Pistols collaborator Mr Rodney P. Link

SHARROW FESTIVAL.
6th JULY / SHARROW VALE / FREE.
The people of Sheffield have high hopes for Sharrow Festival after the treacherous weather of yesteryear drove the 2012 celebrations into the Vine pub. This year’s entertainment includes Soukous Revelation, the Mighty Vipers, Soulcrates and local legend MC Nige. Link

FOURTH CITY AND END OF THE TRAIL RECORDS PRESENT.
10th JULY / REDHOUSE / £4.
Polkadodge, No Fxd Abode, The Verals, Perfectparachutepicture, Harriet Jones and Stop Drop Robot are all appearing at this exciting collaboration between Fourth City & End of The Trail Records. Link

DJ DEREK.
12th JULY / THE HARLEY / £4.
The legendary Brizzle reggae selector that is DJ Derek returns to Sheffield for an evening of toasting and skanking. The 71 year old surely can’t be far from retirement now. Get in before 11 and you’ve grabbed yourself a freebie. Link

RICHARD HAWLEY.
13th JULY / GRAVES PARK / £26.
A brand new music event coming to Sheffield for the summer featuring The Levellers and Bison on the 12th and big dog Richard on the 13th. Local ales and local food provided. Link

EDINBURGH FRINGE PREVIEWS.
14th JULY / OLD JUNIOR SCHOOL / DONATIONS.
The Old Junior School on South View Road plays host to a heap of comedic performers running their material by the crowds before they embark on a month long stint in Edinburgh. Includes The Sheffield Revue, Alistair Greaves, Sean Morley, Staple/Face and music from Dominic Rout. Link

STEEL CITY PUNX PICNIC.
13th JULY / PENELOPES / £12.
Massive punk rock all-dayer raising funds for Sheffield Hunt Sabs, an organisation combatting illegal blood sports in the Yorkshire area. On the day expect raucous performances from Dry Heaves, Septic Psychos, Oi Polloi, Captain Hotknives and many more. Link

NEW TOWN KINGS.
19th JULY / BOWERY / FREE.
Part of the Cool Beans and Tramlines celebrations this year, Friday night at the Bowery sees 9 piece ska extravaganza New Town Kings return after a lengthy absence from the city. Also playing are Smiling Ivy, The Soul Circle Gang, Counting Coins, The Mega Squad and the band in the running for Best Band Name of All Time – Johnny Kowalski & The Sexy Weirdos. Link

THE FOLK FOREST.
20th & 21st JULY / ENDCLIFFE PARK / FREE.
The Folk Forest will be returning to the beautiful glade at Endcliffe Park providing the best in folk music, high quality food and drink, arts and craft market, outdoor activities, heritage crafts and more. Link

LOCUS.
24th JULY / LESCAR / £5.
Jazz Club at the Lescar? Nice. Locus are influenced by Wayne Shorter, Pat Metheny and Brian Blade, their compositions deeply rooted in the jazz tradition and range from bop to contemporary acoustic fusion. Link

SHEFFIELD WELLBEING FESTIVAL.
26th JULY / FARGATE / FREE.
The city is treated to a variety of stalls, activities and even stilt walkers all coming together in celebration of wellbeing and the plethora of wonderful services Sheffield has to offer those suffering with mental health issues and their carers. Link

SHOWROOM SHORTS.
30th JULY / SHOWROOM / FREE.
The South Yorkshire Filmmakers Network returns to their monthly residency at the Showroom Cinema. Also worth checking out – the 2Weeks2MakeIt Awards Show on the 15th July, also at the Showroom. Link

Chris Arnold & Jimmy May.