Sky News blames Hillsborough on miners’ strike.

A Sky News documentary has made the astonishing claim that the Hillsborough disaster was the fault of Arthur Scargill.

Using previously unseen artist’s impressions of Scargill wearing a Korean military uniform, the episode of ‘Paranoimia: Why Communists Tried to Kill Our Children’ has already drawn a record number of complaints.

“This is blatant revisionism and an insult to our intelligence”, claimed a spokesman for the Hillsborough Independent Panel. “The presence of coal smut at the ground is circumstantial at best, and we believe most of those Davey lamps were added digitally after.”

Nigel Fisher, the editor who commissioned the documentary, has defended the accuracy of his report. “It was a long time ago so no-one knows exactly what happened”, claimed Fisher. “So it’s up to us in the media to bend past events to our agenda. I suppose we could have interviewed a few families, but Liverpool is really far away. With the cost of rail fares, it’s cheaper to just make something up.”

Sky’s Hillsborough documentary

The documentary will claim that miners deliberately flouted safety procedures by gluing stuffed canaries in place on their perches. A reconstruction shows a hunched Scargill counting a large wad of money, and refusing to move for an ambulance until he’s rechecked it twice.

“While there’s no evidence that any of these things actually happened, it’s important to give people an alternative view”, said Fisher. “And by recreating ‘that’ supposed 45-minute kiss between Scargill and Syria’s President Assad, we’re also making a watertight case for the forthcoming invasion.”

Shock as UKIP member’s Facebook page fails to mention any Jewish conspiracies.

There has been widespread shock throughout Britain after a member of UKIP used his Facebook account to share pictures with his friends and indulge in general chit-chat.

Amongst the posts on Chris Nosworthy’s Facebook page were details of an afternoon stroll through the park, a happy birthday message to a man called Nigel and a Youtube video of a dog walking on its back legs.

Closer inspection also revealed that he hadn’t ‘liked’ any far-right hate groups or made any racist, anti-semitic, homophobic or islamophobic comments.

Mr Nosworthy defended the contents of his Facebook page and strongly refuted claims the he is ‘non-racist’.

“My friends, family and the people who know me will tell you I’m a total racist,” he insisted. “I used to play in a local 5-a-side football team, but I quit after a fella called Mohammed turned up for training. I’m also pretty sure that dinosaurs were wiped out by Jews,” he added.

UKIP Facebook page

A UKIP spokesperson revealed that a full investigation would be carried out and action would be taken “if necessary”.

“It might just be that Chris has been a bit naive and made an error of judgement. We also shouldn’t rule out the possibility that his account was hacked by leftist flagburning gays from the BBC.

“He’s already been for a precautionary AIDS test.”