CLARK KENT FIRED over persistent breaches of Leveson press regulation.

New privacy and anti-hacking rules coming from the Leveson inquiry have claimed their first victim with the news that awardwinning Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent has 'retired'.

Daily Planet spokesman Angela Croft said Clark Kent's X-ray vision, supersonic hearing and ability to fly undetected into any building meant it was impossible for Kent to comply with the new Leveson privacy rules.

"Clark was anything but mild-mannered and very reluctant to go - he made that very clear when he hurled the entire Daily Planet PR department into the sun," said Ms Croft. "But eventually our lawyer's persuasive argument, and a lump of kryptonite, made Clark see sense."

Ms Croft reiterated that Clark Kent was just one rogue reporter that they had dealt with promptly and that there was no endemic super hero culture at the Daily Planet.

Colleague reaction

Kent's Daily Planet colleagues said that he was being made a scapegoat, and management knew of his super methods but tolerated them as Kent got results.

"Management knew he was Superman. They even installed a phone booth in his office. They also issued a memo that lycra was acceptable work attire, though they did change this to 'male only' after seeing what Jenny from accounts started wearing," said sports reporter Jason Stevens.

"The worst thing was how quick they got rid of Clark. They cleaned out his office yesterday and refurbished it with some sort of inter-connected silk thread. Apparently some photo-journalist named Peter Parker starts tomorrow."

You Tube celebrates reaching tenth literate comment.

Just eight years after launch, and one billion users later, video sharing site YouTube has finally reached double figures in literate comments.

The milestone was announced on the YouTube blog, where the video sharing firm claimed the recent growth in smartphones had helped them reach double digits two years ahead of schedule.

The blog post read, "When we made our video sharing platform we looked at user-generated content across the Internet, forums, Geocities and so on, and between us we agreed that one literate comment a year was an ambitious target."

"But we dared to dream and here we are eight years later admiring a comment that is not only constructed of sentences and paragraphs, but also contains no discernible spelling or grammar errors. It's a proud moment, we assure you."

You Tube milestone

YouTube users have welcomed the news, with user Snakecheck826745 expressing his pleasure at the milestone with the well-recognised YouTube phrase, "OMFG!! Ur all gay!!!"

However, others on the Internet have questioned the value of the video sharing site. Web surfer Simon Williams told us, "Are they also proud that we've made the Internet a collectively dumber place by providing a platform for users to loudly voice the sort of phrases normally found scribbled in excrement in a lunatic asylum? Not only do most of the videos look like they were filmed on a potato, but the subsequent comments appear to have been written by a crack team of racist homophobic simpletons with an unhealthy obsession in the sexual preferences of your Mum."

"It's got so bad that I now will only use it for about five hours a day."

newsthump.com