Brooks and Coulson to be given chance to find out whether prisons are like holiday camps

The Crown Prosecution Service has announced that Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson are to face charges relating to phone hacking, handing the former News of the World editors the chance of finding out exactly how similar prisons are to holiday camps.

The two are to be charged with conspiring to access the voicemail of murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler, and face the prospect of a long stay in a venue "more akin to an all-inclusive Butlins stay than a prison".

As one former Sun reader explained, "Over the years we've marvelled at The Sun's investigative journalism and its breakthrough reports on how prison is no deterrent to criminals, with inmates merely pampered and treated at the expense of the taxpayer.

"I look forward to reading their expose from the 'inside' on how the gym and exercise facilities are better than you'd find on any council estate. Maybe they can take a course? I hear the distance learning packs are quite good for those wanting to learn about Business Ethics."

Coulson and Brooks charged

However some observers have insisted that it would be wrong to condemn the pair before they have had their day in court and had the opportunity to present their case to a jury of their peers. "I think we should wait and hear the facts of the case first. Making snap judgements about their guilt or innocence is not the job of the general public."

"That's the job of the tabloid editors."


Church now less credible than concept of omnipotent superbeing, says Rowan Williams

Followings its rejection of women bishops, the former Archbishop of Canterbury has said that the Church of England is now less credible than the insistence that a supernatural creator oversees the universe.

Rowan Williams told the ruling general synod that the Church would now be seen as "wilfully blind" to modern trends and priorities as well as physics.

While 324 synod members voted for women bishops, church voting rules, which are centred around votes counting for sod all, mean 122 votes against were enough to block it. "It's hard enough being taken seriously when you're asking people to put their faith in the existence of a superhuman that holds the ability to carry out acts which are logically impossible," he said.

"But to deny women the opportunity to become bishops... well, it leaves us with a lot of explaining to do, which is something we don't normally bother with."

Women Bishops

Those in favour of women bishops have vented their anger at the outcome of the vote, with reports emerging of sporadic outbreaks of low-level hymns with acoustic guitar accompaniment.

The House of Laity, whose objections blocked the move, based their unwillingness to vote in favour of female bishops on their interpretation of the bible and also the standard of goalkeeping in women's football.