Scum of the Earth
I was conceived in the recovery position In the basement of a police station I was brought up like a ballerinas breakfast And raised on stolen donations The doctor cried The midwife resigned As I was born to this world My mother swapped me for a less ugly baby And she called me the scum of the earth
Scum of the earth The name that I was baptised as a babe Lightning struck the steeple of the church When the priest called out my name He threw his bible in the sky Pulled out a pistol And shot a hole through it like a bird And as its feathers came spiralling down to the ground He christened me the scum of the earth
Scum of the earth Untrustworthy Bound to be up to no good Standing on the outskirts of society Swigging from a bottle of angel's blood Peeping over the precipice Forever the pessimist Even my blood group is bleeding negative Counting on your fingers to calculate me worth And you call me the scum of the earth
Depending on the state Of mind I’m in when I awake I might partake in playing nice And join in with your game But unemployment’s got its benefits You can’t get fired And I know the system doesn’t work So why the fuck should I?
(to the tune of 'Gold' by Spandau Ballet) Dole (dole) Always believe in your soul You’ve got nowhere to go You’re unemployable Always believe in dole
Well, I’ve always got my settee to fall back on How much is your time worth When I sign on I sign the name you gave me Scum of the earth
And the calendar pages pave the way Of a 75 year long street And so I bang my head Against the factory wall There aint nothing to do but drink There aint nothing to do But abuse the booze And kiss goodbye to the day It’s enough to make a man loose his screws Man I just want to get in my grave Because I’m just a mild mannered social parasite by day But after 6 and a half hours on the apple sauce An amazing transformation takes place... Ciderman! Ciderman! I can’t do it but I think I can Because only a drunk superhero Or a complete fucking idiot Would try and pick a fight with a police dog That line didn’t scan There goes the ciderman
Well I had a most terrible day dream As I was propping up the end of the bar My life fragmented into millions of jigsaw pieces And scattered all over the floor And franticly on my hands and knees I try picking up the shards And piecing it back together again But the picture looked all wrong I staggered back to the bar wiping my face But the expressions on the people’s faces had changed What’s your poison the bar man asked I saw terrible visions in the bottom of my glass I saw the mass replicated definition of freedom Represented by the slogans printed on the t shirts To corrupt the pupil you poison the teachers I heard the untrustworthy word being preached By the diehard disciples of Saturday night TV Who like to make you think life’s just a rehearsal Because it helps to cope with the hurt That comes with the curse of being a person A brand new definition of worthlessness And they plead And they scream Pick me! We just want to be living the dream! Well they obviously don’t have the same dreams as me Unless they want to be trapped in a burning house By Foxy Bingo Naked! With a massive erection the size of a prize winning marrow.
But, you know, each to their own And this blinding clarity is like a pencil in my eye Take your dick out of my ear and stop fucking with my mind! What’s your poison the barman asked I saw terrible visions in the bottom of my glass And I screamed at the people to warn them But they just turned back to their drinks and ignored me And then the management asked me to leave So now I’m outside shouting at the traffic on the street Shaking my fist at the useless moon Trying to catch the stupid thing with a lasso Maybe I’m just confused But I can’t seem to see the world the way that I used to But you’ve made your mind up You know all you need to know You see me coming and you cross the road Like that chicken in the joke But your narrow mind is too small to look down on me Class never has been a straight line And respect is a two-way street The land that your cattle are reared on is poisoned The fruit your trees bare manufactured by man Your media and art is corrupted by money And therefore irrelevant to me and my clan Your wealth is like time A powerful concept Which when studied closely doesn’t actually exist What will you do when the people you put down discover The foundations of your house are so weak they will split So I’ll just leave you to worry about things like reputation and worth But just remember this planet is made out of dirt When you call me the scum of the earth